darylchambers:

Daryl rolled onto his side and scooted so he was spooning against Drew’s body. It was like he was trying to make himself smaller. More silence followed but Daryl was comforted by Drew’s breathing, even though it was shallow from crying. “Of course I wanna stay.” Daryl said softly, wrapping his arms around Drew’s middle. He didn’t know if the other wanted to be touched or not but he figured Drew would tell him. Daryl was surprised when Drew said he wanted to talk about it. It seemed like they never talked about tough stuff, at least not deeply. He nodded, even though Drew couldn’t see it, “Yeah…tell me. What’s bothering you, baby boy?” 

Drew was a lot more comforted once Daryl came closer and wrapped his strong arms around his waist. He breathed softly in and out, just a little bit more content at that moment before beginning to speak. He knew it would make him feel better, he just…didn’t know where to start. After taking one last deep breath, he began. “I…just, sometimes I don’t feel like I deserve you and I wonder what you’re doing with someone like me because when it all comes down to it, I’m just some poor kid with no goals or anything going for him and you’re so successful and driven and so damn kind…and I hate myself, I feel like I’m keeping you from someone so much better than me, and…” He sighed, just leaning into Daryl’s warmth and body as he frowned, biting down on his lip. The darkness made everything easier, but just a bit.

darylchambers:

“You don’t sound fine.” Daryl said, striding into the room. He sat down on the bed, a good space away and leaned against the headboard. “Or do you want me to leave you alone?” He asked. The silence that followed was unbearable. Daryl could hear the quiet sniffles from the other side of the bed and it killed him that he couldn’t do anything about it. It wasn’t like this was a broken bone that would set and heal with time. Daryl never knew how long these moods lasted. 

“I-I mean, you can stay if you want to…but if you don’t want to, I understand.” Drew said softly. He needed to get over this, it was ridiculous…he just didn’t know how to shake his self-esteem issues, and he felt horrible for bringing down Daryl’s mood as well. It also stung a bit that he sat so far away and Drew wasn’t sure if he was supposed to move closer or not so he simply stayed where he sat, taking deep breaths as he did. “I just…I want to talk about it, if you’re willing listen.” He said, considering this an improvement on something he’d been meaning to work on. Bottling this up wouldn’t make this any better, and he needed to let out what was on his chest.

tommysous:

drewblake:

Damn. Sounds crazy. You ever get any days off?

What’s a “day off?”

Ha, well…fair enough. If you’re doing what you love, I guess it’s not work or anything, right?

darylchambers:

Daryl knew this would happen. The more time he spent with Drew the better he got at reading his moods. He noticed that when they talked about things he didn’t want to hear his mood usually went South not far after. “Um okay.” Daryl said. Their kiss was short, almost cold, and Daryl didn’t like it. “Feel better.” It was all he could offer as he watched Drew turn tail again and leave. He thought of sitting on the couch alone or maybe even calling Kendra to go to a bar to hang out but instead he opted to just stay with Drew. He shut off the TV and checked the locks on the door before climbing the stairs. “Do you care if I just sit with you?” He asked, standing in the bedroom doorway awkwardly. 

Drew went up the stairs and shut off the lights, sitting on the bed with knees tucked in while he finally began to let himself cry quietly in the darkness, not wanting Daryl to hear him and make a big deal out of it. He sniffled softly when he heard Daryl follow him and stand at the doorway, his imposing silhouette casting a shadow. He steadied his voice to dispose of any evidence of his sudden overtake of emotion. “Uhm…yeah. I’m just pretty sure I’m probably not as fun as ‘Fast and the Furious’ at the moment.” He gave a soft chuckle, trying to reassure Daryl that he was fine as he took a deep composing breath, just holding his knees to his chest.

tommysous:

drewblake:

Ah. Were you busy tonight?

Yepppp. Saturdays are usually pretty busy, but tonight was a madhouse.

Damn. Sounds crazy. You ever get any days off?

darylchambers:

“It would certainly be…different.” Daryl said, answering Drew’s question. Frowning, Daryl watched Drew escape up the stairs. A tiny voice whispered to him that Drew could be hurting himself but he pushed the unkind thought away. Drew said he didn’t cut himself and Daryl believed him. He needed to get over this trust thing. But images of Drew’s blood still gave him nightmares sometimes, long after Drew had snuggled into him for bed. Daryl always woke up feeling startled but his fears were quelled when he felt Drew’s hard body pressed against him and heard his light breaths. “No.” Daryl said aloud, “You’re not gonna fuck this up. He’s fine.” 

Drew gave a light sigh as he continued to frown at himself in the mirror. Maybe he should just go to bed and shake this feeling off for tomorrow? He’d rather cut this night short on a good note, rather than ruin a good thing like he usually did. Putting on a brave face and gulping down, he went downstairs and back into the living room, not sitting next to Daryl but opting to stand near the doorway. “Uh…hey. Would you completely hate me if I just decided to sleep for the night? I-I-I don’t feel too well…and I just think it would be better to sleep it off. I’m…I’m really sorry that we can’t have a proper date night without me acting weird and…” He gulped back, feeling moisture come to life in his face, but strongly pushing it back, keeping his brave face on. “…I’ll make it up to you, I promise.” He said before coming over to kiss Daryl goodnight, brushing their lips together briefly before heading back up stairs, feeling as horrible as ever.

tommysous:

drewblake replied to your post: Back from work but I’m too tired to get drunk.

Bad day?

Not a bad day, just a realllllly long one.

Ah. Were you busy tonight?

darylchambers:

“I don’t think you’re a waste of space.” Daryl said quietly. He didn’t want to ruin this moment with trying to get Drew to see things differently. Sometimes Daryl felt like he was a boyfriend and a parent rolled into one, considering applying to college was something one did with their parents and not their lover. So he allowed Drew to changed the subject, pretending it didn’t phase him. “They are pretty hot…but I think I like the cars better.” Daryl smirked, “And maybe the girl holding the racing flag.” He knew Drew wanted to be out in the world doing stuff. Daryl was just waiting for his boyfriend to stop holding himself back. The only thing in the way was Drew, if he could just push himself Daryl knew he’d be happier for it. 

“Oh really?” Drew said perking his eyebrows up at Daryl’s words. “How do you think I’d look in booty shorts waving a flag like that?” He laughed, shaking his head. “Disturbing, right?” He got up from the couch and asked Daryl with soft words. “You done with the popcorn bowl? I, uh…need to go use the bathroom so I’ll be right back.” He said with a smile, nodding kindly at his boyfriend before exiting the room for a moment, going upstairs to flush his face with water. He seriously needed to get a grip. He was not in the mood for self-loathing and he was also not in the mood for ruining the evening like he usually did. As soon as he got up there, he looked in the mirror, staring back at himself with unsatisfied eyes. He really did look awful tonight, at least in his mind. He ran the faucet and flushed his face with water, hoping he would get better as he took another second to compose himself.

darylchambers:

“Really?” Daryl said, raising his eyebrows. He didn’t want to push the issue of college since it was a sensitive subject with his boyfriend but he’d been hoping Drew would reconsider. He knew Drew was smart; all he had to do was apply himself to the work and he’d make it. Daryl didn’t go to college per say but he wanted Drew to go so he wouldn’t be limited. “That’s great!” He said, “I mean I’d help you pay for it but you’ll probably have to get help from the school or whatever.” He decided to push a little more, hoping he wasn’t over-stepping it, “Have you thought about what you wanna do?”

“Uhm, no. Not really. I guess I’ll just do whatever…or something…” Drew said, slightly frowning at the question. “But at least I’ll be doing something with my life. I hate feeling like a waste of space, you know? I just…want to do something.” He frowned a bit more, looking down and avoiding Daryl’s gaze. He had to shake off this pity party, he wasn’t going to let it happen as he directed his attention back to the movie. “The guys here are really something, huh?” He said, nudging Daryl with his elbow, trying to change the subject. “I’d fuck ‘em, not even going to lie.” He said with a feigned laugh.

darylchambers:

Daryl squeezed Drew’s hand right back, drawing it up so he could brush a kiss against his knuckles. “I’m not afraid of monsters…except maybe Jason since he’s taller than me. But I’d protect you no matter what, babe.” He smiled, “Oh it’s the first one, the best in my opinion.” Daryl watched the colorful cars zip around the screen and suddenly wished he was on the road with Drew, all wild and free. Sometimes he just had weird thoughts like this. Thinking maybe if they ran away far enough they could outrun Drew’s sadness. It was childish, that was why Daryl never said anything about it, but still he day-dreamed about it. 

“Being honest, I think I’d let Jason kill me before I let him lay a hand on you as sappy as that sounds.” Drew said, smiling up at Daryl with a low sigh. He watched on the screen as the movie took off, along with all the nice cars on the screen. He would probably bet that Daryl got to fix cars like that all the time, and in a way, it made him happy that Daryl was taking off with his shop. He sorta felt a bit unworthy that Daryl was successful and well off…and he was well, not doing anything with his life. He didn’t want to seem like a gold digger or anything, which he wasn’t, not by means, so he decided to speak up. “Hey…uhm, maybe tomorrow, I could go down to Chris’ college and starting applying, you know? I mean, unless we don’t have the money too…which is fine, but I guess…” He shrugged, knowing that he was not making much sense.